Dictionary Definition
shame
Noun
1 a painful emotion resulting from an awareness
of inadequacy or guilt
2 a state of dishonor; "one mistake brought shame
to all his family"; "suffered the ignominy of being sent to prison"
[syn: disgrace,
ignominy]
3 an unfortunate development; "it's a pity he
couldn't do it" [syn: pity]
Verb
1 bring shame or dishonor upon; "he dishonored
his family by committing a serious crime" [syn: dishonor, disgrace, dishonour, attaint] [ant: honor]
2 compel through a sense of shame; "She shamed
him into making amends"
3 cause to be ashamed
4 surpass or beat by a wide margin
User Contributed Dictionary
English
Pronunciation
-
- Rhymes: -eɪm
Etymology 1
Old English scamu. Compare Persian (sharm).Noun
- Uncomfortable
or painful feeling due
to recognition or consciousness of impropriety, dishonor or other wrong in the opinion of the person
experiencing the feeling. It is caused by awareness of exposure of
circumstances of unworthiness or of improper or indecent conduct.
- When I realized that I had hurt my friend, I felt deep shame.
- The teenager couldn’t bear the shame of introducing his parents.
- When I realized that I had hurt my friend, I felt deep shame.
- Something to regret.
- It was a shame not to see the show after driving all that way.
- "And what you do to me is a shame." - Evelyn "Champagne" King, in the song Shame.
- It was a shame not to see the show after driving all that way.
- That which is shameful and private, especially on the personal
body.
- Cover your shame!
Derived terms
Usage notes
While shame is not generally counted, it is countable, for example- I felt two shames: one for hurting my friend, and a greater one for lying about it.
Translations
uncomfortable or painful feeling
- Arabic:
- Catalan: vergonya
- Chinese: 羞辱 (xiūrǔ)
- Chinese Characters: 恥
- Czech: stud
- Dutch: schaamte
- Estonian: häbi
- Finnish: häpeä
- French: honte
- German: Scham
- Greek: ντροπή (dropí)
- Hungarian: szégyen
- Irish: náire
- Italian: vergogna
- Japanese: 恥 (はじ, haji), 羞恥心 (しゅうちしん), 面汚し (つらよごし, tsurayogoshi)
- Korean: 수치 (suchi)
- Kurdish:
- Sorani: عهیب, شهرم, شوورهیی
- Nahuatl: pinauia
- Occitan: vergonha
- Portuguese: vergonha
- Russian: стыд
- Spanish: vergüenza
- Swedish: skam
- Telugu: సిగ్గు (siggu)
something to regret
- Catalan: vergonya
- Chinese: 羞辱 (xiūrǔ)
- Chinese Characters: 恥
- Czech: škoda (pity), ostuda
- Dutch: schande
- Finnish: häpeä
- French: honte
- German: Schande
- Greek: ντροπή (dropí)
- Hungarian: szégyen
- Irish: náire
- Japanese: 恥 (はじ, haji), 羞恥心 (しゅうちしん), 面汚し (つらよごし, tsurayogoshi)
- Korean: 수치 (suchi)
- Russian: стыд, позор
- Spanish: vergüenza
- Swedish: synd
- Telugu: సిగ్గు (siggu)
Etymology 2
Old English scamianVerb
- To cause to feel shame.
- I was shamed by the teacher's public disapproval.
Translations
to cause to feel shame
Derived terms
References
Extensive Definition
Shame (also called ignominy) is the consciousness
or awareness of dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation. Genuine shame
is associated with genuine dishonor, disgrace, or condemnation.
False shame is associated with false condemnation as in the
double-bind form of false shaming; "he brought what we did to him
upon himself". Therapist John
Bradshaw calls shame the "emotion that lets us know we are
finite".
Characterizing shame
Shame vs. guilt
There is no standard distinction between shame and guilt. The cultural anthropologist Ruth Benedict describes shame as a violation of cultural or social values while feelings of guilt arise from violations of internal values. It is possible to feel ashamed of thought or behavior that no one knows about as well as feeling guilty about actions that gain the approval of others. However, in Facing Shame, therapists Fossum and Mason state "While guilt is a painful feeling of regret and responsibility for one's actions, shame is a painful feeling about oneself as a person." Shame is needed to establish limits, in childhood, since young children are unable to associate cause and effect by themselves. However, as children become better able to judge their own actions, guilt becomes the conscience former. Although, in general, guilt guides adult consciences, intrinsic shame is often present in adults too.Shame vs. embarrassment
Shame differs from embarrassment in that it does not necessarily involve public humiliation: one can feel shame for an act known only to oneself, but in order to be embarrassed, one's actions must be revealed to others. Also, shame carries the connotation of a response to qualities that are considered morally wrong, whereas one can be embarrassed regarding actions that are morally neutral but socially unacceptable. Another view of shame and embarrassment is that the two emotions lie on a continuum and only differ in intensity. The wish to sink into the ground and disappear from view, to hide oneself from eyes that witness one's embarrassment or humiliation is common to both.Toxic shame
Psychologists often use the term "toxic" shame to describe false, and therefore, pathological shame. Therapist John Bradshaw states that toxic shame is induced, inside children, by all forms of child abuse. Incest and other forms of child sexual abuse can cause particularly severe toxic shame. Toxic shame often induces what is known as complex trauma in children who cannot cope with toxic shaming as it occurs and who dissociate the shame until it is possible to cope with.Shamery is also a central feature of punishment, shunning, or ostracism. In addition, shame
is often seen in victims of child neglect, child abuse and a host
of other crimes against children. Parental incest is considered by child
psychologists to be the ultimate form of shaming.
Religious shame
In the Milgram experiment, described in the book Obedience to Authority, pp. 48-49, Stanley Milgram described one of a very few individuals in the entire series of experiments who was able to successfully resist authority without experiencing feelings of shame. This subject, a professor of religion, explained that his reason for being able to resist unjust authority with equanimity came from his religious faith. The subject explained that "If one has [God] as one's ultimate authority ... then it trivializes human authority." Milgram wrote that "the answer for this man lies in the repudiation of authority, not in the substitution of good -- that is[,] divine -- authority for bad."Vicarious shame
Psychologists recently introduced the notion of vicarious shame, which refers to the experience of shame on behalf of another person. Individuals vary in their tendency to experience vicarious shame, which is related to neuroticism and to the tendency to experience personal shame. Extremely shame-prone people might even experience vicarious shame even to an increased degree, in other words: shame on behalf of another person who is already feeling shame on behalf of a third party (or possibly on behalf of the individual proper).Shame in society
Shame is considered one aspect of socialization in all societies.Shame is enshrouded in legal precedent as a
pillar of punishment and ostensible correction.
Shame has been linked to narcissism in the
psychoanalytic literature. It is one of the most intense emotions.
The individual experiencing shame may feel totally despicable,
worthless and feel that there is no redemption.
According to the anthropologist Ruth
Benedict, cultures
may be classified by their emphasis of using either shame or
guilt to regulate the
social activities of their members.
Shared opinions and expected behaviours that
cause the feeling of shame (as well as an associated reproval) if
violated by an individual are in any case proven to be very
efficient in guiding behaviour in a group or society.
Shame is a common form of control used by those
people who commit relational
aggression. It is an important weapon in marriage, family, and
church settings. It is also used in the workplace as a form of
overt social control or aggression.
Shame campaign
A shame campaign is a tactic in which particular individuals are singled out because of their behavior or suspected crimes, often by marking them publicly, such as Hester Prynne in Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter.In the Philippines,
Mayor Alfredo Lim
popularized such tactics during his term as mayor of Manila. On July 1,
1997, he began a controversial "spray paint shame campaign” in an
effort to stop drug use. He and his team sprayed bright red paint
on two hundred squatter houses whose residents had been charged,
but not yet convicted, of selling prohibited substances. Officials
of other municipalities, emboldened by Lim’s campaign, began
conceiving their own anti-crime shame strategies.
Lim’s shame campaign generated much publicity,
and many questioned the legality and humaneness of singling out
unconvicted suspects. Former Senator Rene A. Saguisag, a member of
Movement for Brotherhood, Integrity and Nationalism, Inc. (MABINI),
issued a public statement condemning Lim’s policy: "The shame
campaign violated presumption of innocence because it transgresses
due process…" In January
2000, the 14th Division of the Court of Appeals ruled the
policy as "invalid and unconstitutional."
In January
2005, Metro Manila Development Authority Chair Bayani
Fernando announced a "wet rags shame campaign" to target
commuters who wait for rides in the middle of the streets. The MMDA
traffic enforcers planned to punish jaywalkers by driving by in
service vehicles and splashing them with wet rags attached to
poles. Sound trucks were to drive ahead and warn pedestrians of
their approach; those who refused to comply with traffic
regulations were to have wet rags dropped on their heads.
Sen.
Richard Gordon disagreed with the shame tactic, saying such a
way of disciplining pedestrians is a "return to Grade One." He
added that the campaign might work for a time but would end up
being futile. Rep. Vincent Crisologo of Ilocos Sur, a
known critic of Fernando, said the MMDA chief was resorting to
martial law tactics. Rep. Rozzano Rufino Biazon of Muntinlupa
City, criticized the plan: "It only shows that the MMDA looks
at people as animals who should be herded like cattle instead of
using reason to make them follow the law… it is an admission that
its personnel assigned to the thoroughfares are not doing their
job."
Chairman Fernando, unfazed by criticisms,
proceeded with the campaign.
In 2005, Tony Kwok, Hong Kong’s
former corruption chief, suggested that the Philippine government
should carry out a shame campaign to eliminate political
corruption. A consultant of the Philippines’ Office of the
Ombudsman, Kwok said, "This is what you need, a shame campaign. You
have to let the politicians know that corruption is a high-risk
crime." Kwok cited Hong Kong’s use of TV advertisements to
discourage governmental misconduct. He added, "The best way is
through enforcement and education."
See also
References
- Bradshaw, J (1988). Healing the Shame That Binds You, HCI, . ISBN 0-932194-86-9
- Broucek, Francis.(1991)Shame and the Self, NY: The Guilford Press, ISBN0-89862-444-4
- Fossum, M, and Mason, M, (1986). Facing Shame: Families in Recovery, W.W. Norton, ISBN 0-393-30581-3
- Gilbert, P (2002}Body Shame: Conceptualisation, Research and Treatment. Brunner-Routledge. ISBN 1-58391-166-9
- Gilbert, P (1998} Shame: Interpersonal Behavior, Psychopathology and Culture. ISBN 0-19-511480-9
- Goldberg, Carl. (1991) Understanding Shame, Jason Aaronson, Inc., Northvale, NJ. ISBN 0-87668-541-6
- Lewis, H. B. (1971). Shame and guilt in neurosis. International University Press. New York.ISBN 0-8236-8307-9
- Lewis, Michael. (1992) Shame: The Exposed Self. NY: The Free Press. ISBN 0-02-918881-4
- Kaufman, Gershen,(1992). Shame: The Power of Caring, 3rd edition, Schenkman Books, Rochester, VT, ISBN 0-87047-052-3
- Middelton-Moz, J, (1990). Shame and Guilt: Masters of Disguise, HCI, ISBN 1-55874-072-4
- Morrison, A (1996) The Culture of Shame. Ballantine Books. ISBN 0-345-37484-3
- Morrison, A (1989) Shame: The Underside of Narcissism. The Analytic Press. ISBN 0-88163-082-9
- Nathanson, D., ed. (1987) The Many Faces of Shame. NY: The Guilford Press. ISBN 0-89862-705-2
- Nathanson, Donald. (1992) Shame and Pride: Affect, Sex, and the Birth of the Self. NY: W.W. Norton, ISBN: 0-393-03097-0
- Schneider, Carl D. (1977) Shame, Exposure, and Privacy. Boston: Beacon Press, ISBN 0-8070-1121-5
- Vallelonga, Damian S. (1997). An empirical phenomenological investigation of being ashamed. In Valle, R. Phenomenological Inquiry in Psychology: Existential and Transpersonal Dimensions. New York: Plenum Press, 123-155.
External links
- Bullying In the Family from the UK National Workplace Bullying Website
- Understanding Shame and Humiliation in Torture
- US Forces Make Iraqis Strip and Walk Naked in Public
- Shame
- Humiliation is Simply Wrong (USA Today Editorial/Opinion)
- Hiding from Humanity: Disgust, Shame, and the Law
- Shame and Psychotherapy
- Shame and Group Psychotherapy
- Sexual Guilt and Shame
shame in Arabic: خجل
shame in Aymara: Phinq'a
shame in Breton: Mezh
shame in Bulgarian: Срам
shame in Catalan: Vergonya
shame in Czech: Stud
shame in Danish: Skam
shame in German: Schamgefühl
shame in Esperanto: Honto
shame in Spanish: Vergüenza
shame in French: Honte
shame in Icelandic: Skömm
shame in Italian: Vergogna
shame in Hebrew: בושה
shame in Luxembourgish: Schimmt
shame in Dutch: Schaamte
shame in Norwegian: Skam
shame in Japanese: 羞恥心
shame in Occitan (post 1500): Vergonha
(psicologia)
shame in Polish: Wstyd (psychologia)
shame in Portuguese: Vergonha
shame in Quechua: P'inqa
shame in Russian: Стыд
shame in Sicilian: Virgogna
shame in Simple English: Shame
shame in Slovak: Stud
shame in Finnish: Häpeä
shame in Swedish: Skam
shame in Yiddish: שאנדע
Synonyms, Antonyms and Related Words
abasement, abash, abashment, abomination, apologies, atrocity, attrition, ayenbite of inwit,
bad, besmirch, bitterness, blacken, bring down, bring into
discredit, bring low, bring shame upon, bully, burning shame, byword, byword of reproach,
calamity, calumniate, calumniation, cast reproach
upon, catastrophe,
chagrin, chasten, coerce, comedown, contempt, contriteness, contrition, coyness, debase, debasement, decency, decorousness, decorum, defamation, defame, deflate, deflation, defrock, degradation, degrade, delicacy, denigration, deplume, derogation, descent, desecration, diffidence, dirty shame,
disaster, disconcert, discountenance, discredit, disesteem, disfavor, disgrace, dishonor, disparagement, displume, disrepute, drive, dump, eclipse, elegance, embarrass, embarrassment, error, evil, force, grief, guilt, hangdog look, humble, humbled pride, humiliate, humiliation, humility, ignominy, impute shame to,
infamy, iniquity, knavery, let down, letdown, low-down dirty shame,
modesty, mortification, mortify, obliquity, obloquy, odium, opprobrium, outclass, outdo, outrage, outshine, outstrip, overshadow, peccancy, pillory, pity, profanation, propriety, prudishness, pudency, pudicity, push, put down, put out, put to
shame, put-down, reflect discredit upon, regret, regretfulness, regrets, regretting, remorse, remorse of conscience,
remorsefulness,
repining, reproach, reprobacy, respectability, sacrilege, scandal, scandalize, seemliness, self-abasement,
self-abnegation, self-diminishment, self-reproach, setdown, shamefacedness, shamefastness, shamefulness, show up,
shyness, sin, smear, sorriness, sorrow, stain, stigmatize, subdue, suppress, surpass, taint, tarnish, terrible thing,
timidity, unfrock, vilification, villainy, violation, wistfulness, wrong